The 12 Types of People in Every Selfie (Which One Are You?)

One friend yells "portrait mode!" and checks the light. Another smashes the button before anyone blinks. One holds a clean phone, the other has 5% battery and a cracked screen. Both will blame the ceiling light when the photo looks weird.

• The prep friend practices their jawline in every window.
• The chaos friend says, "It's fine, we'll use a filter."
• Someone always asks, "Wait, was that video?"

Classic poses: chin tilt, soft smile, full teeth, peace sign, finger heart, one eyebrow only, and the dramatic side profile like they are in a movie trailer. The tall friend stands on tiptoes to fit everyone and still crops half the group.

• At least one person blinks and calls it their zen face.
• Somebody whispers "candid" after 10 takes.
• The tallest friend becomes a human tripod.

Random stuff sneaks in: iced coffee held like a trophy, sunglasses inside at night, a dog who did not sign up for this, and a baby staring into the lens like it knows your secrets.

• The dog steals the spotlight and all the likes.
• The coffee cup becomes a personality for the day.
• Someone bites their keys because both hands are busy.

After 12 tries and one heated filter debate, you post the first photo anyway. Comments say "cute!" while everyone secretly ranks their eyebrows. You all promise to take fewer pics next time. You won't.

• You scroll past your own post twice before liking it.
• The tagged names read like a sitcom cast list.
• Outtakes get saved for future blackmail, as tradition demands.